Munkeph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
by MungoTeazer
Summary: Jellicles put on Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Rated for that whole Potiphar thing. Very insane, I have a tic-tac problem and there's no support group for me out there!, if that explains anything. Ejoy
1. Act 1

Munkeph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Have mercy, this is the first fanfic I ever wrote and the first I've ever posted too. Please, no flames! This isn't my best stuff!! (granted my best isn't good either but...) 

Oh did I mention that I don't own Munkustrap, Alonzo, Bomba, or any of them? WHY CAN'T I OWN MUNGYYYYYYYYYY?????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sniffs* anyhoo, all things CATS related belong to Andrew Lloyd Webber, Trevor Nunn, The R.U.G. peoples and a bunch of other peoples too.... oh yes and I also don't own anything related to Joseph or his amazing technicolor dreamcoat, those things belong to Andrew Lloyd Webber, Tim Rice and a bunch of other peoples too. 

I have no idea if this has been done before and I just wanted to say that if you did something like this, sorry I didn't take your idea... OMG I HAD AN INDEPENDENT THOUGHT!!!!!!!! *angelic choir singing, bright light shining* ahem. 

If you don't like Mungo/Rumple pairings.... you may not wanna read the end of this act... it gets rather.... suggestive. Oh and I do poke a bit of fun at Deme. Please don't hurt me!!!!!! 

You have been warned. 

Now sit back and enjoy this horrible horrible piece of.... writing *coughcough* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

*giggle* 

Shhhhhhhh! 

MT: Aha! There you little kitties are!!!! 

Cassandra: Great going Rumple. 

Rumpleteazer: Aow can it Cass. 

(I know, I know horrible accent, just deal with it okeydoodles?) 

Plato: Okeydoodles? 

MT: Shuttup. And speaking of lines.... 

Cats: uh-oh 

MT: Time to hand out parts!!!!!!!! 

*crickets and blank stares* 

Alonzo: Why do we have to do this? Why do bored fanfic writers always rope us into performing some kind of musical or play???????? 

MT: *sweetly* Well, if you don't like this play, we could always do Annie! Or how about the Sound of Music... or Showboat??? 

Cats: OK OK we'll do it! Just NOT ANNIE!!!!!!!! 

MT: *ala Monty Burns* Excellent. Now each production of Joseph has a different number of narrators, we're having two, any volunteers? 

*queens back away, hide their faces* 

I thought so, how about Jemima and Demeter 

Jemima: But I only sing to the moon, about the moon, or with the moon! 

Tumblebrutus: With the moon????? 

Demeter: And every time I open my mouth I'm saying SOMETHING about Macavity! 

MT: Well deal with it! 

Jem + Dem (hehe that rhymes!): *hmph* 

MT: The starring role of Joseph will be played by Munkustrap! Err, it'll have to be Munkeph. 

Munkus: Munkeph?!?!?! 

MT: Would you rather Jokustrap?? 

Tugger: *snort* 

Etcetera: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE *passes out* 

MT: Errrrr, right. Anyhoo, Bustopher will be... Bustopher pull yourself away from the snack table for two seconds?!? 

Bustopher: But there's curry! 

MT: *blank stare that lasts a few minutes* Ok, you're playing Potiphar Jones. 

Jennyanydots: Is not skin and bones! 

Bombalurina: In fact he's remarkably f- 

MT: FOCUS!!!!!!!!!!! 

Pouncival: Remarkably what? Remarkably what!?! 

Tumble: It's ok Pounce, breathe, breathe. 

MT: Mrs. Potiphar Jones will be Bomba. 

Bomb: EW!!!! I'm married to Bustopher???? 

MT: Well yeah, but you don't love him. In fact, you seduce Munkeph. 

Jenny: Kittens ears! Kittens ears!! 

Bomb: Why am I always playing the slut with no morals?  


Victoria: Typecasting. 

Bomb: Shuttup pipsqueak! 

Viccy: You, ya big tree! 

Bomb: Ya wanna say that to my face you little twerp?  


Viccy: I'll need a chair, you- 

MT: *trying to interrupt before Jenny has a fit* Ok, Tugger will be the... Rum Tum Pharoah. 

Munku: *snort, looks around at everyone staring at him* how come nobody screams and passes out when I do that? 

MT: Rrrriiiiight, the brothers will be as follows: 

Alonzo-Alonzoben 

Macavity-Simavity 

Mistof-Mistolevi 

Tumble-Tumbletali 

Pounce-Issapounce 

Coricopat-Coricosher 

Plato-Gado 

Skimble-Skimbulon 

Mungo-Mungojudah 

err, we're out of toms so 

Tantomille-Danomille 

and 

Etcetera-Bencetera 

Etccy: Can we make my character a sister? 

Tant: Me too! 

MT: NO!!!!!! This was taken from the book of Genesis for Bast's sake! 

Etccy: Who's Bast? 

Director: *sighs* never mind. 

Alonzo: I thought I was stage manager? 

MT: You're both, now go pass out scripts and get the costumes from the back slave! Mwuahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha*cough*ackyich...Mwuahahahahahahahahahaha.. 

Etccy: Are you done yet? 

MT: The world may never know 

Etccy: Huh? 

MT: LOOK! Tugger is SNEEZING!! 

Etccy: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *passes out again* 

Munku: How come nobody does that when I sneeze? 

MT: duh 

Munku: What was that? 

MT: Nothing ah Alonzo back with the costumes? 

Alonzo: Yep, here's a fake beard! 

Etccy: I call it! 

*Alonzo tosses her the beard and she gleefully puts it on* 

MT: That's the only costume!?! We don't even have Munkeph's coat!?! 

Alonzo: Well our costume budget was only $8.50! Um... here's a multicolored sock I found! 

MT: Great. Jellylorum, change the programs to say 'Munkeph and the Amazing Technicolored Dreamsock' 

Jelly: Ma'am yes ma'am! 

MT: Let's just go to the first scene, the aptly titled 'Prologue', Demi and Jemi (hehe that rhymes too!) you guys sing this. 

Jem: Fine but I'm warning you, I sound bad without the moon! 

MT: Just sing! 

Dem: Some folks... er.. cats dream of the wonders they'll do 

Before their time on this planet is through 

Some just don't have anything planned 

They hide their hopes and their heads in the san 

Jem: Now I don't say who is wrong 

Who is right 

But if by chance you are here for the night 

Pounce: You mean people would actually sit through this? 

MT: Shuttup and let them finish! 

Jem: Then all I'll need is an hour or two 

Tumble: You mean this whole thing is gonna take two whole hours!?!?! 

All Cats: NNNOOOOOOOOOO! 

Demi: Macavity! 

*all stare at her* 

Macavity: But... I've been here. I'm playing the role of Simavity! 

Demi: *panicking* but... This is the longest I've ever gone without saying it... must... scream.... Macavity! *hyperventilates* 

Bomb: It's ok Demi, breathe, breathe, nice and easy *to MT* see, now you've gone and made Demeter hyperventilate! 

Munku: Oh yeah and that is just so unusual for our cool-as-a-cucumber Demeter *rolls eyes* 

Bomb: Shuttup, It's his fault anyway *glares at Macavity* 

Macavity: Hey, I think we all know that this is the fault of... er... uh.... Electra! Yeah, it's all Electra's fault! 

Electra: What's my fault? 

Macavity: I dunno, it's just your fault! 

Ele: Is not! 

Mac: Is too! 

Ele: Is not! 

Mac: Is too! 

Ele: Is not! 

Mac: Is too! 

Ele: Is not! 

Mac: Is too! 

Ele: Is not! 

Mac: Is too! 

Ele: Is not! 

  
Mac: Is too! 

Ele: Is not! 

Mac: Is too! 

Ele: Is not! 

Mac: Is too! 

Ele: Is not! 

Mac: Is too! 

Ele: Is not! 

MT: Just shuttup and go to the next scene! Jemi, cover Dem's lines and shuttup about the stupid freakin moon!! 

Jemi: hrmph! 

MT: Brothers, get ready and jump on stage when your name comes up and say your name ok? Go! 

Jemi: Way way back many centuries ago 

Not long after the Bible began 

Ja- 

MT: Wait! I forgot to cast a Jacob! Um *scans crowd* Gus, you be Jac...us, Jacus. Etccy, give him your beard 

Etccy: Hmph! 

MT: Ok, pick up where you left off 

Jemi: -cus lived in the Land of Caanan 

Pounce: He lived in a cannon? 

Tumble: Caanan you idiot! 

Pounce: Where's that? 

Tumble: I dunno 

  
MT: SHUTTUP! 

*Jemima just sits there* 

MT: NOT YOU! 

Jemi: A fine example of a family... tom 

Jacus, Jacus and sons 

Depended on farming to earn their keep 

Jacus, Jacus and sons 

Spent all of their day in the fields with sheep 

Jacus was the founder of a whole new nation 

Thanks to the number of kittens he had 

He was also known as Israel but mostof the time 

His sons and his wives used to call him dad! 

Jacus, Jacus and sons 

Men of the soil, of the sheaf and crook 

Jacus, Jacus and sons 

A remarkable family in anyone's book 

*Alonzo trudges on stage* 

Alonzoben: *unenthusiastically* Alonzoben 

Jemi: Was the eldest of the children of Israel with 

*Macavity slowly walks on to the stage* 

Simavity: *even more unenthusiastic than Alonzo* Simavity 

Jemi: And 

*Mistof comes out like he's walking to his death* 

  
Mistolevi: *like he's at a funeral* Mistolevi 

Jemi: Are next in line 

MT: What was that??? It's supposed to be energitic! Bast help me, next scene. 

Etccy: Who's Bast!?!?! 

MT: Shuttup! Gus, you start this scene. 

Gus: Who day and night must scramble for a living? 

Feed a queen and kittens 

Say his daily prayers 

And who has the ri- 

MT: WRONG MUSICAL GUS!!!! Jelly, do something! 

Jelly: Gus, it's very lovely, but we're doing Munkeph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream...sock 

Gus: These modern productions are all very well but they- 

Jelly: Why don't we go outside dear. 

MT: Gus, you're not Jacus any more! 

Gus: Hmph 

*Jelly brings Gus outside* 

MT: Jenny, you're now Jacobanydots 

Viccy: That name does not work with the song 

MT: Jenny... 

Jacobanydots" Munkeph's mother she was quite my favorite mate 

I never really loved another all my life 

And Munkeph was  
My joy because 

He reminded me of her 

Jemi: Through young Munkeph, Jacobanydots lived his youth again 

Loved him 

Praised him 

Gave him all he could but then 

It made the rest 

Feel second best 

And even if they were... 

Brothers: Being told we're also-rans 

(Boying tawld woir also-rahns) 

Pounce: What's an also-ran? 

MT: Get back to the song! 

Brothers: Does not make us Munkeph fans 

(Das no' moik as Munkeph fahns)  


Jemi: But where they had really missed the boat is 

Brothers: We're great guys but no-one seems to notice 

(Woir groi' geys bu' naw-one soims ta no'ice) 

Jemi: Munkeph's charm and winning smiles 

Failed to slay them in the aisles 

MT: Wait! somethings not right, ok if you aren't on stage right now, you're the chorus 

*everyone rushes onstage* 

MT: Ok, if you aren't a brother, narrator, Munkeph or Jacobanydots, you're chorus for this scene 

Go on Jemi 

Jemi: And their father couldn't see the danger 

He could not imagine any danger 

He just saw in Munkeph all his dreams come true 

  
Jacobanydots wanted to show the world he loved his son 

To make it clear, that Munkeph was the special one 

So Jacobanydots bought his son a co- sock 

A multi-colored sock to wear 

Jacob: Munkeph's sock was elegant the cut was fine 

Brothers: The tastefull style was the ultimate in good design 

(ok, you get the picture, Mungo's accent is blatently obvious, do I really have to point it out every time he opens his mouth? Because I won't, only when he's talking by himself. So ppbhhhhtttttt!) 

Jemi: And this is why, it caught the eye 

Brothers: A king would stop and stare! 

Munkeph: I look handsome I look smart 

I am a walking work of art! 

  
Cass: And so modest. 

MT: Cass, just let them get through this scene ok? 

Munkeph: Such a stunning sock of many colors 

How I love my sock of many colors! 

Viccy: Can't...hold...in...any...longer...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! 

*notices everyone staring at her* I mean, come on! It's a sock! A sock!!!! Get it? A sock? 

MT: *sighs* next scene. Chorus, you're playing corn and stars 

Tugger: Uh-uh, there is no way I'm playing an ear of corn! 

MT: I was afraid of this, but I might have to bring out.... *da da dum* A can of orange soda! (sorry guys, that's something even I don't fully understand, but I have a friend who's deathly afraid of orange soda so I incorperated that trait into Tugger) 

Tugger: NOOOO! NOT THE ORANGE SODA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, I'll be the stupid corn. 

MT: Jemima, go! 

Jemi: Munkephs sock annoyed his brothers 

Brothers: But what makes us mad 

Are the things that Munkeph tells us of 

The dreams he's often had 

Munkeph: I dreamed that in the fields one day 

The corn gave me a sign 

Your eleven sheaves of corn 

All turned and bowed to mine 

Mungo: Woit a min'u' naw oive soin a lo' o' things, but oi aint neva soin naw con baw! 

MT: Just stay with it Mungo 

Munkeph: *ahem* 

My sheaf was quite a sight to see 

A golden sheaf and tall 

Yours were green and second-rate 

And really rather small! 

Brothers: This is not the kind of thing 

We brothers like to hear 

It seems to us that Munkeph and his dreams should disappear 

Munkeph:I dreamed I saw eleven stars 

The sun the moon and sky 

Bowing down before my star 

It made me wonder why 

Hmmm I wonder 

Could it be 

That I was born 

For higher things than you? 

Duh! They're jealous of a sock! I mean, come on! How far are they gonna get in life! 

MT: Munku... try to stay in character 

Munkeph: A post in someone's gobornment 

A ministry or two? 

Brothers: The dreams of our dear brother are 

The decade's biggest yawn 

His talk of stars and golden sheaves 

Is just a load of corn 

Not only is he tactless but 

He's also rather dim 

For there's eleven of us and 

There's only one of him 

The dreams of course will not come true 

That is we think they won't come true 

That is we hope they won't come true 

What if he's right all along? 

The dreams are more than crystal-clear 

The writing on the wall 

Means that Munkeph someday soon 

Will rise above us all 

*chorus runs in with Munku concealed withen them; they then raise him up on a chair (think, the ending of Wilkommen from Cabaret)* 

Misto: Oh heavysides, he already has! Well we might as wel go home now. 

Other brothers: Oh yeah! It's useless, we should give up! Let's run for it! 

MT: Hahahahaha! Nice try kitties, but all the doors are locked! Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha 

haahahahahahahhahaha*notices stares*ha...ha..haha...ha... NEXT SCENE! 

Jem: Next day far from home 

The brothers planned the repulsive crime 

Brothers: Let us grab him now  
Do him in while we've got the time! 

Jem:This they did and made the most of it 

Tore his sock and flung him in a pit 

*brothers all to eagerly fling munkus in a garbage bag acting as a pit* 

Munkus: HEY!!!! what was that all about????????? 

Pouncie: The stupid sock won't rip!!! 

  
MT: Good, that means we can use it easily at the end of the play when it's magically back together again 

...... 

just go. 

Macav: Oh come on! A pit???? If we want him dead so much why don't we just shoot him? 

MT: JUST GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!!!! 

Brothers: Let us leave him here 

All alone and he's bound to die 

Jem: When some Ishmaelites 

A hairy crew came riding by 

*Electra and Viccy come by doing an Egyptian-sort-of dance thingie* 

In a flash the brothers changed their plan 

Brothers: We need cash let's sell him if we can 

Jem: Poor poor Munkeph 

Whatcha gonna do? 

Things look bad for you hey 

Whatcha gonna do? 

Poor poor Munkeph 

Whatcha gonna do? 

Things look bad for you hey 

Whatcha gonna do? 

Munkus: I DON"T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sobs* 

Bomba: Remind me again why he's our leader?????? 

Munkus: Just trying to get into character!! 

Bomba: Well stop 

MT: Guys...get...on...with...it....or...else.... 

Brothers: Could you use a slave? 

you hairy bunch of Ishmaelites? 

Young, strong well behaved 

Going cheap and he reads and writes! 

Jem: In a trice the dirty deal was done 

Silver coins for Jacobanydot's favorite son 

Tant: But we're cats! We don't use money!... And I'm sick of playing a tom! 

Etccy: What's an Ishmaelite? And me too!!! 

Tant: Why can't ya just cut out two brothers! 

MT: 'Cos there needs to be a dozen sons or the next song won't work!!! 

Viccy: You changed 'Jacob' to 'Jacobanydots' And you think cutting two sons will hurt the music?? 

MT: Shuttup Victoria 

Tugger: When do_ I_ come on??? 

MT: Shuttup! Not until the second act, you're just the chorus. let's just go to the next scene, One More Angel. Brothers, get into the cowboy garb. 

Alonzo: But we don't have costumes other than the beard Gus took with him... and that awesome sock! 

MT: Well get the _imaginary_ cowboy garb! 

Misto: Phsycho 

MT: What was that? 

Misto: Err.. I...uh...nothing....mrs. beautiful...smart.....funny....perfect....director....lady 

MT: That's what I thought. Anyhoo, this is your solo, Alonzoben. 

Alonzo: rrrrgh, oh fine. 

Alonzoben: Father, we've something to tell you 

A story of our time 

A tragic but inspiring tale of tomhood in it's prime 

You know you had a dozen sons 

Well now that's 

Not quite true 

But feel no sorrow 

Do not grieve 

Brothers: He would not want you to 

Alonzoben: You see there's one more angel in Heavyside 

There's one more star in the sky 

Munkeph we'll never forget you 

It's tough but we're gonna get by 

There's one less place at our table 

There's one more tear in my eye 

Brothers: But Munkeph the things that you stood for 

Alonzoben: Like truth and life never die! 

When I think of his last great battle 

A lump comes to my throat! 

It takes a cat who knows no fear to 

..Wrestle.... with a .... goat? 

Alonzo: Oh come on!!! A goat!?!?! Why couldn't he have been hit by a bus or something!?! 

MT: They didn't have buses back then Alonzo. NOW KEEP SINGING!!!!!! 

Alonzo: fine 

Alonzoben: His bloodstained sock is tribute to his final 

Sacrifice 

His body may be past it's peak 

But his souls in Heavyside 

So, so-long little Munk!! 

Adios Buckaroo! 

Ten-four Good buddy!!! 

Jacobanydots: There's one less place at our table 

There's one more tear in my eye 

Brothers: But Munkeph the things that you stood for 

Alonzoben: Like truth and light never die! 

Brothers: Carve his name with pride and courage 

Tumbletali: Let no tear be shed 

Brothers: If MT would unlock the doors 

We could escape from here 

MT: THOSE ARE NOT THE PROPER LYRICS AND YOU KNOW IT!!!!!!!!!!!! *sighs* Let's just go to the Potiphar scene, Pounce and Tumble, try to pry Bustopher away from the snack table. 

Long story short: they did but he performs while eating a chicken wing 

Jemi: Munkeph was taken to Egypt in chains and sold 

Where he was bought by a captain named Potiphar Jones 

(add chorus) 

Potiphar Jones had very few cares 

He was one of Egypt's millionaires 

Having made a fortune bying shares in 

PJ: Pyramids 

Jem+Chorus: Potiphar Jones had made a huge pile 

Owned a large percentage of the Nile 

PJ: Meant that I could really live in style 

Jem: And he did 

PJ: Oh I did! 

Jem: Munkeph was an unimportant slave who 

found he liked his master 

Consequently worked much harder 

Even with devotion 

Potiphar Jones could see that Munkeph 

Was a cut above the average 

Made him leader of his household 

Maximum promotion 

(+chorus)\ 

Potiphar Jones was cool an so fine 

PJ: But my wife would never toe the line 

Jem: It's all there in chapter thirty-nine of Genesis 

She was beautiful but 

Mrs. PJ: Evil 

Jem: Saw a lot of toms against his will 

He would have to tell her that she still 

Was his 

PJ: You're mine 

Jem: Munkeph's looks and handsome figure 

Had attracted her attention 

Every morning she would beckon 

Mrs. PJ: Come and lie with me love 

Bomba: You know, I don't get how laying down is bad. I mean that doesn't neccessarily mean slee- 

Jenny: NEXT SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

MT: Hey! I make those descisions *evil glares from Jenny*.... next scene! 

Munk: Yay! This is my big solo! 

Etccy: Everyone got their earplugs????? 

Cats: Yep! 

Munk: Hey! *whining* MT.... make 'em take 'em off!! 

MT: Fine... everyone take 'em off. 

Cats: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

MT: Shuttup! *takes someone's earplugs and discreetly puts them in* Go ahead Munk. 

Munk: ahem 

Munkeph: Isn't it rich? 

Are we a pair? 

Me here at last on the ground 

You in midair 

So where are the clowns? 

Send in the clowns 

Just when I stopped 

Opening doors 

Finally knowing the one that I wanted 

Was yours 

Making my entrance again 

With my usual flair 

Sure of my lines 

No-one is there 

Don't you love farce? 

My fault I fear 

I thought that you'd want what I want 

Sorry my d- 

*At this poing, the cats have managed to pull out MT's earplugs and are loudly complaining, Munk keeps singing, oblivious to all of this* 

MT: Wha? Oh.... MUNK, WHY ARE YOU SINGING 'SEND IN THE CLOWNS'?????? THIS IS NOT 'A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC'!!!!!!! THIS IS MUNKEPH AND THE BLAH BLAH BLAH YOU KNOW THE REST!!!!!! YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE SINGING 'CLOSE EVERY DOOR'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Munk: I'm just doing what it says in my script. 

MT: Lemme see that. *looks at the script*... Ok, who taped 'Send in the Clowns' over 'Close Every Door'? 

*all look at Pouncie* 

Pounce:... What? *hides a roll of tape behind his back* 

MT: Dear Bast 

Etccy: Who's Bast!?!?!?!?!?!?!? 

MT: Shuttup. Guys, just go to 'Go Go Go Munkeph'. Cass, you be the baker, Rumple you be the butler. GO!!!!  


Jem: Now Munkeph's luck was really out 

His fortune and his spirit low 

Alone he sat 

Alone he thought 

Of happy times he used to know 

Munk: What happy? My brothers sold me to some hary Ishmaelites after flinging me in a pit and.... the ripped my sock!!!!! 

MT: Shuttup Munk, Tugger be prisoner number 1, Mungo be prisoner number 2. 

Tugger: Hey dreamer, don't be so upset. 

Mungo: 'ey Munkeph yawr not boiten yet! 

Chorus: Go go go Munkeph you know what they say 

Hang on now Munkeph you'll make it some day 

Don't give up Munkeph 

Fight till you drop 

We've read the book  
And you come out on top 

Jem: Now into Munkeph's prison cell 

Were flung two very frightened cats 

  
Cass+Rumple: (Again, I'm only gonna point out Rumple's accent if she's talking by herself) We don't think that we will ever see the light of day again. 

Hey Munkeph help us if you can 

We've had dreams that we don't understand 

Jem: Both them were servants of Rum Tum Pharoah the king 

Thrown in the doghouse for doing their thing 

One was a baker a cook in his prime 

The other a butler, the Jeeves of his time 

Munkeph: Tell me of your dreams my friends 

And I will tell you what they show  
Though I cannot guarantee to get it right 

I'll have a go! 

  
Cass: Gee what a big help you are! 

MT: Shuttup and get on with it. 

Jem: First the butler, trembling took the floor 

Nervously he spoke of what he saw 

Rumple (butler): There oi wos standin' een front of a voine 

Oi took some gripes en oi crushed 'em ta woine 

Oi goive them ta Rum Tum Pharoah 

'oo droink fram moi cup 

Oi troied taw interpret 

But oi 'ad ta geev up. 

Mungo: Tha's moi Teazah! Groi' job lav! 

Rumple: *blushes* Err...uh.... thoinks lav. *to MT* Cen oi boi excused? 

MT: Why? 

Rumple: Taw..er....... gaw ta tha bathroom! Yea, tho's it! Ta gaw ta tha bathroom! 

MT: sure 

Rumple: *runs off with Mungo right behind her* 

Mungo: err.... oi gotta gaw too. 

MT: whatever 

Mungo: *runs off after Rumple, grinning* 

Cats: Me too!!!! Me too!!! 

MT: Why don't we just go right to the break? 

Cats: YAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

MT: Jenny packed you all Hand-i-snacks and PB and J sandwhiches. 

Pouncie: Ooo! the cheese and cracker thingies with the little red sticks!?!?!?! 

MT: Yep 

Pouncie: YAY! WE GET THE STICKS!!!!!!!!! 

MT: I'm not even gonna ask. 

End act 1 


	2. So that's what happened to those kittens...

Munkeph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Part 2 

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own CATS or Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I'm assuming that I'd have more money than 25 dollars and 87 cents if I owned either of them. 

Warning: If you don't like Mungo and Teazer as a couple... you might want to skip over the first part... 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Oh and here's a cast list in case you forgot 

CATPartCharacter name 

MunkustrapJosephMunkeph 

JemimaNarratorNarrator 

DemeterNarratorNarrator 

JennyanydotsJacobJacobanydots 

Bustopher JonesPotipharPotiphar Jones 

BombalurinaMrs. PotipharMrs. Potiphar Jones 

Rum Tum TuggerPharoahRum Tum Pharoah 

AlonzoRuebenRubalonzo 

MacavitySimeonSimavity 

MistofeleesLeviMistolevi 

TumblebrutusNaphtaliTumbletali 

CoricopatAsherCoricosher 

PlatoGadGado 

SkimbleshanksSimulonSkimulon 

MungojerrieJudahMungojudah 

TantomileDanDanomile 

EtceteraBenjaminBencetera 

ButlerRumpleteazerButler 

BakerCassandraBaker 

Everyone elsechoruschorus 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Jemi: Misto!!!!!! Can't you just magically unlock the doors or something? 

Misto: What am I? Harry Potter? (A/N *sigh* I don't own Harry Potter either) I can't do everything! 

Jemi: So-rry! But I happen to think that being able to get us away from MT is more beneficial than being able to produce seven kittens out of a hat. 

Etccy: What happened to them anyway??? 

Misto: Oh...um... well that was before you guys were born ya know *coughhinthintcough* 

Etccy: So what happened to them? 

Leccy: Hey that's funny! Because there's me, Jemi, Etccy, Vicci, Pouncie, Tumble and Plato and we're all kittens! And there's seven of us! And........ oh dear Bast... 

Etccy: WHY WON'T ANY OF YOU TELL ME WHO THAT IS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

(A/N hehe, I always wondered what happened to those kittens! Maybe they are Leccy, Jemi, Etccy, Vicci, Pouncie, Tumble and Plato! There ARE seven of them... and there are also seven VonTrapp kids... this has parody potential... 

Anyhoo, I'll save that topic of what happened to those kittens for some other time, for now, it has no effect on anything I write) 

Jemi: Well it would also be more beneficial than being able to make Vicci appear! 

*all murmur in agreement* 

Vicci: Hey! I'm right here you know? *mumbling* shrimp 

Jemi: I AM NOT A SHRIMP!!!!!!!! 

Electra: *coughgigglecough* 

Jemi: Pretty rich coming from you Ele! 

Electra: For the last time, I am NOT short! I just look tiny when in between Cori and Plato in that stupid cockroach-tap-line-thing!!! 

  
Plato: Y'know, you're all kinda shrimpy... 

Viccy/Jemi/Ele: SHUTTUP PLATO!!!!!!! 

MT: Ok, places everyone! We're back to Munkeph! Where are Mungo and Rumple? 

Pouncie: I dunno, I heard Rumple giggling before though... 

  
Tumble: Yeah and we couldn't get into that broom closet that had the fireworks in it.... 

Jenny: Why were you trying to get into a broom closet with fireworks in it? 

Tumble:..... 

*Mungo and Rumple walk in, flushed* 

MT: You're late 

Tugger: Well some things take more time than you give us for the break! 

Rumple: *blushes* 

Tugger: Hehe, they do have a wonderfull way of working together! 

Rumple: *blushes further*  
  
Mungo: Shaddup Tugga 

MT: Whatever, Is Deme revived yet? 

Deme: Yep!.... Macavity! *smiles* 

Munku: That's about as normal as she gets. 

  
Deme: *evil glares at Munku* 

MT: Good! That means you can sing Rum Tum Pharoah story! 

Deme: Oh... wait! I feel weak! The lights are all going out? Where am I? 

MT: Start singing! 

Deme: *hrumph* Once upon a time there was a pharoah. He was powerfull. The end. 

MT: SING the real song! 

Deme: *pphbbbbtttt!* ahem... 

Rum Tum Pharoah, he was a powerfull cat 

With the ancient world in the palm of his paw 

For all intense and purposes he 

Was Egypt with a capitol 'E' 

Whatever he did he was showered with praise 

If he cracked a joke then you chortled for days 

No-one had rights or a vote 

But the king 

In fact you might say he was fairly right-wing 

Rum Tum Pharoah's around then you get down on the ground 

Vicci: Kinda like Etccy.... 

Etccy: Is it MY fault I pass out whenever Tugger's around? 

Vicci:... um... yeah 

Etccy: _ 

Deme: ahem! 

If you ever find yourself near Ramesis 

Get down on your knees 

Chorus: Rum Tum Pharoah story 

Rum Tum Pharoah story 

Rum Tum Pharoah story 

Rum Tum Pharoah story 

Deme: Now down at the other end of the scale 

Munkeph's still doing time in jail 

For even though he is in with the gods 

A lifetime in prison seems quite on the cards 

  
But if my analysis of the position is right 

At the end of the tunnel there's a glimmer of light 

Pounce: *shine's huge search light on her* Like this??? 

Deme: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! MACAVITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Macavity: You know, I'm starting to get offended *sniffs* this isn't very good for my self-esteem! *walks away sniffling* 

MT: POUNCIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shut OFF the bleeding light!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Pouncie: Only trying to illustrate her point! 

MT: Sweet Bast, next scene 

Etccy: WHO IN THE NAME OF BAST IS BAST????????????? 

MT:.....huh? 

Munku: Etccy, I told you... she has the brain capacity of a moose! .... actually that was kind of confusing... 

MT: My sister got bit by a moose once.... (A/N gotta love Monty Python!) Just get on with the next scene, Tugger, you're in this one as the pharoah. 

Cass: Where you there when the Pharoah's commissioned the Sphinx? 

All: IF YOU WERE AND YOU ARE YOU'RE A JELLICLE CAT! 

MT: Riiight... just go to Poor Poor Rum Tum Pharoah 

Deme: Guess what? In his bed 

Rum Tum Pharoah had an uneasy night 

Tumble: ahem *snicker* 

MT: NOT LIKE THAT!!!! 

Deme: He had 

MT: DON'T EVEN SAY IT TUMBLE!! 

Deme: had a dream that pinned him to his sheets with fright 

No-one knew the meaning of this dream 

What to do, whatever could it mean? 

Jemi: Then his butler said 

Rumple (as the butler): Oi knaw of a blawke een jile 

'oo ees 'ot 

Tumble: Oh yeah! 

MT: *evil glares borrowed from her phantom French teacher* 

Rumple (as the butler): on dreams 

could expline awl' Rum Tum Pharaws tile 

Jemi: Rum Tum Pharoah said 

RTP: Well fetch this Munkeph cat 

I need him to help me if he can 

Etccy: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *passes out* 

Jemi/Chorus (minus Etccy): Poor Rum Tum Pharoah what'cha gonna do? 

Dreams are haunting you hey 

What'cha gonna do? 

Jemi: Chained and bound, afraid alone 

Munkeph stood before the throne 

Munkeph: My service to Rum Tum Pharoah 

Has begun 

Tell me your problem 

Mighty one! 

RTP: HELLLLLOOOOO EGYPT!!!!!!! 

MT: Hmmm, that wasn't in the script but I like it! 

  
Etccy: *wakes up*... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *passes out again* 

RTP: Well I was wandering along by the banks of the river 

When seven fat cows came up out of the Nile, uh-huh 

Female kittens: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

MT: This is gonna be a looooooooooooong song... 

RTP: And right behind these fine, healthy animals came 

Seven other cows that were skinny and vile uh-huh 

Female kittens: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Pouncie: What did you eat before you went to bed?!?! 

RTP: Well the thin cows ate the fat cows 

Which I thought would do them good uh-huh 

Female kittens: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

RTP: But it didn't make them fatter like such 

I thought a monster supper should 

Well the thin cows were as thin 

As they had ever, ever, ever had been 

Well this dream has got me baffled 

Hey, Munkeph tell me what it means!?! 

Female kittens: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

RTP: Well you know that kings ain't stupid 

But I don't have a clue 

So don't be cruel Munkeph 

Help me, now I beg of you 

Well I was standin doing nothing in a field out of town 

When I saw seven beautiful ears of corn, uh-huh 

Female kittens: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

RTP: They were ripe, they were golden and you guessed it 

Right behind them there came seven other ears that were 

Tattered and torn, uh-huh 

Female kittens: AAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

RTP: Well the bad corn ate the good corn 

They came up from behind yes they did 

Now Munkeph here's the punch line 

This is really gonna blow your mind this is gonna flip your lid! 

Female kittens: AAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

RTP: Well the bad corn was as bad as it had ever, ever, ever had been 

Well this dream has got me all shook up 

Treat me nice and tell me what it means! 

Hey, hey, hey Munkeph 

won't you tell poor old Rum Tum Pharoah 

What does this crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy dream mean? 

Oh yeah! 

Female kittens: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pass out* 

MT: That actually went better than I expected, Jenny, you wanna take care of them? 

Jenny: *drags Jemi, Etccy, Electra and Vicci over to the side and takes out smelling salts* 

Munkeph: Well I get the part about the cows, but I'm not sure about the corn... you wan- 

RTT: YOU MEAN I SANG THAT ENTIRE SONG AND YOU DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

Cass: He's not all he's cracked up to be huh? 

RTT: *advances on Munku with a not-so-nice look on his face* 

MT: NEXT SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stone the Crows! 

Pouncie: OK!!! *chucks a rock out of a window that just appeared in the middle of the junkyard, and cawing is heard*  


MT: NO!!!!!! Its the name of the next song! Bast help me! 

*silence* 

MT: Oh yeah, Etccy's still unconscious.... Just go to it! 

Jemi: Rum Tum Pharoah said 

RTP: Well stone the crows! 

This Munkeph is a clever kit 

Cass: well.... 

MT: SHUTTUP!!!!! 

RTP: Who'd have thought that fourteen cows could mean the things he said they did? 

Munkeph you must help me further 

I have got a job for you 

You shall lead us through this crisis 

You shall be my number two! 

Female Chorus: *flock to tugger* Rum Tum Pharoah how can we ever say 

All that we want to about you? 

We're so glad that you came our way 

We would have perished without you! 

MT: .... guys.. well... girls...well...queens... you're supposed to be singing about Munkeph! Surrounding him! Not Tugger! 

Bomba: Well... I mean.... Munkeph's great and all but.... 

Cass: The obvious choice is... 

Munku: *lower lip trembles* 

Bomba: FINE! We'll flock to Munkeph!!!! 

(A/N This does not reflect my personal opinions, however, in this little world the obvious choice (for them) would be.... well Mungojerrie....wait...no...that's my obvious choice.... What I mean is that Tugger's like the rock-star icon thingiemadoodle and they're all going after him instead of Munku.... I wouldn't ...I'd flock to Mungo and maybe chuck Rumple out of a window while I'm at it, but unfortunately I'm not able to *sobs*... ok bottom line: I'm NOT trying to insult Munku so why don't you just put down your torches and pitchforks and we can get on with this in peace) 

MT: Oh just go to the next song... which would be Those Caanan Days. GO GUYS!!!!! 

Simavity: Do you remember the good years in Caanan? 

Pouncie: No 

  
MT: SHUTTUP POUNCIE!!!!! 

Simavity: The summers were endlessly gold 

The fields were a patchwork of clover 

The winters were never too cold 

We'd stroll down the boulevards together 

And everything round us was fine 

  
Jacobanydots: Now the fields are dead and bare 

No joie de vivre anywhere 

Et maitenant we drink a bitter wine 

Brothers: Those Caanan days 

We used to know 

Where have they gone 

Where did they go? 

Eh bien, raise your berets 

To those Caanan days 

Alonzo: Maybe we'd have berets to raise if it wasn't for the costume budget 

  
MT: SHUTTUP!!!! 

Simavity: Do you remember those wonderfull parties? 

The finest of Canaan's cuisine 

Those extravegant, elegant soirees 

The finest the Bible has seen 

Tant: How many parties has the Bible seen??? 

MT: SHUTTUP!!!! 

Simavity: It's funny but since we lost Munkeph 

We've gone to the other extreme 

No-one comes to dinner now 

We'd only eat them anyhow 

I even find I'm missing Munkeph's dreams 

Mungo: Well oi wouldn't gaw that far... 

*general murmurs of agreement*  
  
MT: GUYS JUST GET ON WITH THE SONG!!!!! 

Brothers: Those Canaan days 

We used to know 

Where have they gone? 

Where did they go? 

Eh bien, raise your berets 

To those Canaan days 

Simavity: It's funny but since we lost 

Danomile: Munkeph 

Issapounce: We've gone to the other 

Coricosher: Extreme 

Mistolevi: Perhaps we all misjudged the lad 

Bencetera: *who is now revived* Perhaps he wasn't 

Tumbletali: Quite that bad 

Gado: And how I miss his 

Mungojudah: Entatoining 

All: Dreams 

Those Canaan days 

We used to know 

Where have they gone? 

Where did they go? 

Eh bien, raise your berets 

Simavity: To those Canaan days 

Brothers: Eh bien, raise your berets 

To those Canaan DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS! 

*all gasping for air*  
  
Deme: Back in Canaan the future looked rough 

Munkeph's family were finding it tough 

Brothers: *still gasping for air* 

~10 minutes later~ 

Brothers: *still gasping for air* 

~1 hour later~ 

  
Brothers: For the famine has caught us unprepared 

We are thin 

We are ill 

We are getting scared 

It's enough to make anyone weep 

We are down to our very last sheep 

Alonzoben: We will starve if we hang around here 

Skimbulon: But in Egypt there's food gong spare 

  
Coricosher: They've got corn 

They've got meat 

They've got fruit and drinks 

Danomile: And if we have the time 

We could see the Sphinx! 

MT: Don't even say it Cass 

Cass: *pouts* 

Deme: So they finally decided to go 

Off to Egypt to see brother... Munk 

MT: It does sound better when it's "Joe" 

Deme: So they all lay before Munkeph's feet 

  
Brothers: Mighty prince give us something to eat 

Deme: Munkeph found it a strain not to laugh because 

Not a brother among them knew who he was 

  
Munkeph: I shall now take them all for a ride 

After all they have tried fratrecide 

MT: Don't even ask. 

Pouncie: MT.. 

MT: What? 

  
Pouncie: What's fratrecide? 

MT: *sighs* 

Munkeph: I dreamed 

Plato: Here we go again with the dreams... 

Munkeph: *oblivious to everyone around him mouthing the words, mocking him* 

that in the fields one day 

The corn gave me a sign 

Your eleven sheaves of corn 

All turned and bowed to mine 

I dreamed I saw eleven stars 

The sun, the moon and sky 

Bowing down before my star 

And now I realize why! 

How do I know where you come from? 

You could be spies! 

Telling me that you are hungry 

That could be lies! 

How do I know who you are? 

Why do you think I should help you? 

Would you help me? 

Brothers: Yes!... 

Etccy:.... well... no, honestly 

MT: SHUTTUP ETCCY!!!! 

Munkeph: Why on Earth should I believe you? 

I've no guarantee 

Brothers/Deme/Jemi: Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall 

Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl 

We are just eleven brothers 

Good cats and true! 

Though we know that we are nothing 

When up next to you 

Honesty's our second name 

Life is slowly ebbing from us 

Hope's almost gone 

It's getting very hard to see us 

From sideways on 

Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall 

Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge crawl 

Munkeph: I rather like the way you're talking 

Astute and sincere 

Suddenly your tragic story  
Get's me right here 

Pounce:.... where? 

Munkeph: *glares* 

Brothers: This is what we hoped he'd say 

Munkeph: All this tugging at my heartstrings seems quite justified 

I will gibe you what you came for 

And much more besides 

Brothers: Grovel, grovel, cringe, bow, stoop, fall 

Worship, worship, beg, kneel, sponge, crawl 

  
Tumble: Hehe.... sponge ^_^ 

MT: What was that? 

Tumble: err... nothing... can we go to Mungo's solo? 

Mungo: *glares* 

MT: Ok... the background info is this: Bencetera's been accused of stealing Munkeph's goblet. Go! 

Mungo (a/n just imagine his attempts at a Jamaican accent! lol, I don't even know how you'd type that so just picture it in your minds): Aw naw 

No' 'e 

'ow yaw cen accuse 'im ees a mystary 

Sive 'im 

Tike moi 

Bencetera's stroighta than the toll palm troi 

Pounce: I thought palm trees were bendy-like? 

  
Mungo: Saw deed oi, daw oi 'ave ta sing this? 

Rumple: Aow but yar saw cute when ya sing lav! 

Mungo: Ya think saw? *getting characteristically cocky* Oi em ratha...*coming to his senses* Woi a min'u'! Oi'll sing a' 'awm eef ya loike eet tha' much! 

MT: Mungo, just sing. 

Mungojudah: Oi 'ear tha steel drums sing their song 

They're singin man yeeow knaw yaw've go' it wrawng 

Oi 'ear the voice of tha yellaw bird 

Singing een tha troi thees ees quoite absurd 

(and brothers)  
Oh yes 

It's true 

Bencetera's straighter than the big bamboo 

No ifs- No buts 

Bencetera's honest as coconuts 

Mungojudah: Sure as tha toide wosh tha gawlden sand 

Bencetera ees an innocent cat! 

Sure as bannannas noid tha sun 

Woi are tha criminal guilty wans 

(and brothers)  
Oh no- not he 

How you can accuse him is a mystery 

Save him 

Take me 

Bencetera's straighter than the tall palm tree 

Oh no-not he 

Mungojudah: (over the rest of this stuff) No' 'eeeeeeeeeeee... 

Mungo: AOW GAWD THAWSE NAWTES ARE 'OIGH!!!!!! 

MT: JUST SING! 

Mungo: *keeps going with the high notes* 

How you can accuse him is a mystery save him 

Take me- 

Bencetera's straighter than the tall palm tree 

Mungo: *hoarsley* Enywan go' a cough drop? 

Chorus: Each of the brothers fell to his kneees 

Please do not hurt him mighty one please 

He would not do this he must have been framed 

Jail us and beat us we should be blamed 

Deme: Munkeph knew by this his brothers now were honest cats 

The time had come at last to reunite them all again 

Munkeph: Don't you recognize my face? 

Is it hard to see 

That Munkeph who you thought was dead 

Your brother 

It's me? 

Chorus/Brothers: Munkeph, Munkeph is it really true? 

Munkeph, Munkeph is it really you? 

Deme/Jemi/Chorus/Brothers: Munkeph, Munkeph 

Munku: That's my name! 

Chorus: So, Jacobanydots came to Egypt 

No longer feeling old 

And Munkeph came to meet him in his chariot of gold 

Of gold 

Of gold 

Of gold 

Munku: Yay another solo! 

Etccy: WHY DID YOU TAKE OUR EARPLUGS!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

MT: *putting earplugs in* No reason. Go ahead Munku 

Munku: Either you are closing your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge or you are simply unaware of the dangers presented by the opening of a pool hall.  
Well you got trouble my friend! 

Right here, I said trouble right here in River City 

Well sure I'm a billiard player, mighty proud to say it always mighty proud to say it 

I consider that the hours I spend with a cue in my hand are golden 

Helps ya cultivate horse sense 

And a cool eye 

And a keen- 

CATS: *general "oh god"'s and "not again"'s* 

Etccy: *really loud* MT!!!!!!!!! HE'S SINGING THE WRONG SONG AGAIN!!!!! *pulls the earplugs* 

MT: Hey!!! *hears Munk* MUUUUUUUUNNNNNKUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Munku: what!?!?! 

MT: *through gritted teeth* would you mind telling us why you are singing 'Trouble' instead of Any Dream Will Do? 

Munku: 'cos it says so in my script 

MT: and you are aware that the song 'Trouble' isn't even from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, but from The Music Man???? 

Munku: um.... no 

MT: *grabs his script* POUNCIE!!!!!!!!!! WHY DID YOU TAPE THE WRONG SONG OVER IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! 

Pouncie: I didn't! 

MT: Then why do you have tape on your fur 

Pouncie:.... 

MT: *sighs* well that was about the end anyway 

Misto: YOU MEAN THE NIGHTMARE IS OVER!?!?!?!?!!?!? 

Alonzo: well, this nightmare. Remember, she's still got Tumblebrutus on the Pipe going... 

MT: Yep! I finally found the words to If I Were a Rich Man!!!! 

Skimble: uh-oh 

Tumble: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE "UH-OH"-ING!!!!!!!!!!! 

Etccy/Jemi/Vicci/Ele: *snickergiggle* 

Tumble: Shuttup!!!!! 

Bomba: I thought you were acrobatic? Doesn't that usually involve balance? 

Tumble: Shut-up! I slipped ok!?! 

Ele: And look where it got you... 

Tumble: WILL YOU GUYS SHUTTUP!?!?!?!?!?!?! 

Jemi: Will we ever shuttup? Will Tumble ever be able to walk properly? Join us next time on 

Jenny: Oh don't worry dear, you'll walk fine soon enough. Just a few more weeks! 

Tumble: _ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Hehe HI!!!!!!! I hope you guys liked it! Thank you all for the luverly reviews! 

Seamus: You make it sound like a present! 

It IS a present... sortof... If you don't know who Seamus is (and you probably don't) then please don't make me explain! I'm BAD at explaining! 

Seamus: Got that right 

No-one asked you! 

Ok so um arievaderci! toodle-oo and ciao cos mama i'm a big girl NOW!(sorry about that, I'm singing that song in a school group thingie if you would like to be in a school-group thingie, then send a postcard to-) 

Seamus: will you shuttup already!!!!! 

I'll give it some thought....... nope. I feel a song coming on... 

Seamus: uh oh... 

*takes deep breath* WEEEEE'RE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE! OUR SHOWS ARE FORMIDABLE!!! *gets hit in the head with a boot* 

Seamus: It slipped... 

hrmph.... Monty Python Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! over and out! 

hehe bye!!!! 


	3. Megamix and the fate of Macavity

Munkeph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamsock: Megamix 

Thank you Sandy the hyper-active kitten!!! That was a good idea! 

Thank you guys so much for all your luverly reviews! It's much appreciated! 

Disclaimer: How many times do I have to tell you!?!?!?!?!?!?! I do not own CATS!!!!! I HAVE NOTHING!!!! NOTHING I TELLS YA!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY IS FATE SO CRUEL SO THAT I DO NOT OWN MUNGY!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY!!!!!!!?????!!!!!!! 

...ahem.... at least I still have my DVD and various cast recordings. But still... it's just not the same!!! *runs away bawling* 

OH and by the way, before I think it was set in the junkyard, now it's in a stage. No it doesn't make sense! A stage just appeared in the junkyard ok!?!? Geez, get off my back! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

MT: *comes back, normal* 

Bomba: I thought we'd finished this! 

CATS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

MT: Doncha wanna take your bows? 

CATS:....um... 

MT: Great let's get started! CHORUS!!!! SING WHAT'S IN YOUR SCRIPTS!!!! 

Chorus: *sings the vocal part to the megamix, (A/N I don't feel like writing it all out but basically it's like an overture only at the end and with words.... that made no sense.... oh well.... like anything else I do makes sense)* 

Munku: *walks on stage wearing his precious sock* : D 

CATS: *eye rolls* 

Munku: I'd like to thank my agent- 

Etccy: He has an agent? 

Munku: -for getting me here 

MT: Hey! As I recall, that was me forcing you to play the lead! 

Munku: -my parents, and most important, the Everlasting Cat, without whom I wouldn't have this gift and 

Tugger: What gift!?! You did take notice of the earplugs and protesting right??? 

MT: Munku, this isn't a speech, just a bow. 

Munku: *oblivious* I would also like to thank the good folks at the Meow Mix coorporation. Meow Mix, so good, cats ask for it by name! I would also like to thank my third cousin, twice removed, Becky! I wish she could be here with me today and- 

MT: GET HIM OFF THE STAGE!!! 

Pounce/Tumble: *carry him off by his arms* 

Munku: *still oblivious* and that cat who I bumped into on Tottenham Court Road this morning was also a huge inspiration to me and- 

Pounce/Tumble: *fling him into the wings* 

Munku: *still talking but no-one can hear him... not that anyone wants to but...* 

MT: Jem, Deme... any day now! 

Dem: Get out of the way shrimp! *pushes her out of the way* 

Jem: I AM NOT A SHRIMP!!! *flings Deme behind her* 

*catfight ensues to see who gets onstage first* 

Jem: *MROW!!!* 

Dem: Get OFF my tail! 

Jem: *thinking* *suddenly points upward* Look! Up in the sky! It's.... MACAVITY!!! 

Dem: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! *passes out* 

Jemi: *triumphantly takes her bow and walks offstage* 

Electra: She sounds kinda like Etccy... 

Etccy: Hey! 

Tugger: *sneezes* 

Etccy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! *passes out* 

Macavity: That does it! I am SICK AND TIRED of Dem screaming my name, and fainting whenever my name is mentioned! WHY DO YOU HATE ME!?!?! *pauses for a second while his eye twitches* 

... I KNOW WHAT I SHALL DO!!!! I SHALL RUN AWAY AND TRAIN A POLAR BEAR CIRCUS!!!!!!! WON'T THAT BE MARVELOUS!?!?!?!?! EEEEHEHEHEHEHEEHEEE!!!!!!!! *runs out, giggling dementedly* 

MT: O.... keeey..... Dem take your bow already! 

Dem: *unconscious* 

MT: Pounce.... 

Pounce: *flings her off the stage* 

MT: Thank you Pounce. NEXT!!!~ 

Tugger: *walks onstage* 

Etccy: *wakes up* 

Tugger: *gyrates hips and sings a blood-curdlingly high note* 

Queen Kittens: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Etccy: *passes out* 

Tugger: *grins and walks of stage* 

MT: *waiting* um... Bustopher? 

BJ: *waddles onstage with a half-eaten fish* *attempts to bow... wavers a bit...*  


Vicci: Uh-oh 

BJ: *falls off the stage next to Dem* oomph!!!! 

MT: *sighs* 

Bomba: *walks onstage* *bows* 

Toms: *salivate* 

  
Mates of the aforementioned toms: *clock aforementioned toms with whatever they can find, scripts, soda cans, lead weights...* 

Bomba: *walks offstage* 

Jenny: *walks onstage, bows walks off* 

MT: Cass and Rumple... 

Cass: _ fine *goes up, bows and goes back down* 

Rumple: Wot'd she tike a baw far? She didn' daw anyfing! 

Cass: *glares* 

Rumple: ... 'ave ya evar nawticed 'ow wierd 'er oiyes get sometimes??? 

MT: Rumple just tike yar baw.... oh Bast it's rubbing offdon'tevensayitEtccy... I mean, take your bow 

Etccy: *pouts* Geez, I just wanted to know! 

Mungo: Oi dawnt get it, yeeow were roigh' tha first toime... 

Rumple: *bows*.... *glares at Mungo* 

Mungo: Wha?... oh! *cheers and whistles and stuff* 

Rumple: Tho's betta *walks off stage* 

MT: Ok, brothers you're up! 

Alonzo: *runs onstage to find that it's just been cleaned (waxed) and slides right off to the other wing into Munku* 

*CRASH!*  
  
Alonzo: *feebly* ow... 

Munku: -and Max, the butcher down the street, and Lea Salogna and my uncle Francis, oh wait, I don't have an uncle Francis, and Robert Preston and- 

MT: NEXT!!! 

*no-one goes up*  
  
MT: Who's supposed to be next? 

Jelly: Well, Macavity but he... 

Mungo: Went ta pursue 'ees loifelawng droime. 

Jemi: *pupils dilate and in a very high-pitched, corny voice says:* If you believe in yourself then all your dreams will come true! 

Bomba:..... riiiiiiight.... 

MT: Pouncie.... 

Pounce: *flings her into the wing where Munku and Alonzo are* 

Munku: -and the author of How to Become a Lead in a Play You're Being Forced To Put on by a Crazy Fan, and the teletubbies and- 

MT: Well after him its Misto so go! 

Misto: *transports himself onstage and appears in a cool magical-looking way*  


Queens (and some toms): ooOOOOoo *big eyes* 

Other Toms: *glare and mumble things along the lines of "show-off" and such* 

Misto: *bows while levitating, then transports himself back to his seat* 

Tumble: *goes onstage* 

Pouncie: *sneaks up behind him* 

Tumble: *bows* 

Pouncie: *pushes him onto Dem and Bustopher and then takes his own bow* 

Skimble: *runs onstage to help but winds up accidentally shoving Pounce off the stage* Oops! Um.... *takes his bows and runs off the stage* 

(A/N at this point there are two piles of felines, one in the wings consisting of Munku, Jemi and Alonzo and one at the bottom of the stage consisting of Deme, Bustopher, Pounce and Tumble) 

Plato: *being one to follow the crowd bows and jumps off onto the pile of cats below him* 

Mungo: *walks onstage with his usual cockiness that I happen to find irresistable ; )* 

Rumple: *whistles*  
  
MT: *screams in an Etcetera-like fashion* WE LOVE YOU MUNGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Mungo: *lapping it up, bows and grins* 

MT: *once again, screams in an Etccy-like fashion* 

Rumple: *clocks me over the head with those lead weights I mentioned...* 

MT: Ok... I'm good, I'm good, I'm sane... 

Etccy: *runs onstage does a little bow thing* TUGGER ROCKS! PEACE! *runs offstage* 

MT: Ok, Cori and Tant, you're up. 

Cori: NOOOOO! 

Tant: IT'S NOT FAIR!!!! 

MT: What's not fair? 

Cori: We're always stuck together! 

Tant: It's always 'coriandtant'! 

Cori: And in credits! 

Tant: We're always 

Cori: together! 

Tant: I AM MY OWN CAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Cori: Me too!!!! 

Tant: I am getting a HUGE identity crisis!!! 

Vicci: She's been spending too much time with Exotica 

Exotica: Hey! Why wasn't I in this fic!?!  


MT: Well, you're not really a cat.... are you? 

Exotica: Sure! I was there with Cassi when the Pharoahs commissioned the Sphinx! 

MT: yeah but.... do you really exist? 

Exotica: GRRRR!!!! *runs off to see therapist* 

Tant: ahem! 

Cori: We're in the middle of breakdowns here! 

Tant: so rude! 

MT: sorry guys... I guess... I mean... you are pretty much the same cat ya know... 

Cori: WE 

Tant: ARE  


Cori: NOT 

Tant: THE 

Cori: SAME 

  
Both: CAT!!!!! 

MT: I didn't say you were the SAME exactly... but Cori, you're basically Tant in a tom's body. 

Tant: Ok that's just really wierd to think about.... 

  
Cori: BUT IT'S 

Tant: NOT TRUE!!!! 

MT: Ok I believe you... now go up and take your little bows that will undoubtedly be in perfect sync with each other! 

Cori/Tant: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRH!!!!!!!!!! *run off to see THEIR therapists* 

MT: *sighs* Chorus, just run up and take your bows... 

Everyone else: *runs up and takes their bows* 

MT: Ok everyone go back to all of your seats. 

*everyone does exept...* 

MT: Munku??? 

Munku: *still in the wings* and Elton John and most importantly, my mum!!!!! *walks back out onto the stage, bows and walks off* 

MT: *looks at him* 

Munku: Shouldn't everyone else take their bows now? 

MT: *sighs* 

Munku: Well??? 

Tugger: *clocks him* 

CATS: THANK YOU TUGGER!!!!!!!!!! 

  
Etccy: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *passes out* 

MT: Well that brings our little performance to an end. 

CATS: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

  
MT: BUT! 

CATS: uh-oh 

MT: But don't be sad! For there shall be more fics in the not-so-distant future! 

CATS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! 

MT: We have to finish Tumblebrutus on the pipe. Which means that for the first time in about a year, I will *gulps* eject my CATS DVD from the DVD player! *strikes a dramatic pose* 

*crickets chirp* 

MT: Well anyway, I need to watch Fiddler to refresh my memory a bit. After that I was thinking maybe.... The Music.... Cat.... 

CATS: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! 

MT: Or, due to my recent discovery of how there are seven kittens and seven VonTrapp kids.... 

  
Kittens: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

MT: But I think The Music Cat might work... we could have... hmmm.... how about Alonzo as Harold Hill and Bomba as Marian Paroo? 

Alonzo/Bomba: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 

MT: Or... Mungojerrie as Hill and Rumpleteazer as Marian! 

Mungo/Rumple: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! 

MT: yeah I guess that Cockney Iowans wouldn't work so well.... I know!!! Etccy and Pouncie!!! 

Etccy/Pounce: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

MT: I have a parody in mind, it's name will be The Music CAT, It's plot is of the corny kind! With convienent love and- *is hit by a boot* *glares* You can go now 

Misto: All the doors are locked! 

MT: Man you guys are stupid!!!! Did you even TRY to open them! There aren't even locks on them!!!! 

CATS:.... RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *they do* 

MT: *cleans up the dropped scripts and sock while singing* Etcarian sweet librian.... 

*fade out* 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

You guys are so nice! Thank you so much for the reviews! To me, reviews are like chocolate: if I have some, I'm happier than Etccy around Tugger...so um.... yeah. So far I only have Tumblebrutus on the Pipe up but I'll be starting The Music CAT shortly so um... stay tuned! ... Now I sound like a feature presentation announcer lady thing so I'll stop now 'cos I'm confusing myself (not very hard, mind you but....) over and out! 


End file.
